You're gone.
You finally left,
And my eyes bled out on the floor.
You left me, just like I feared you would.
I mourned.
I hit the wall and sank,
Animal agony wrenched from my throat.
Words were useless.
I died.
Or so it felt.
Missing you, I began to think,
And tell myself the upside.
I stopped.
I had never questioned your love for me.
I still don't, but I no longer believe your faith.
Hard to when you discarded me so easily.
I nursed.
The steady drip of grief from my heart to stem,
Armoring myself in sharp humor and quick smiles,
Unless it 2am, and I've had a few to drink.
No tears.
So much less sobbing now that you're not here.
Yo
Do you still love me?
What a question, and it's the only one
that I can keep on my mind.
Given a choice, I'd forget it.
Do you still love me?
I'm glad it's snowing out.
My sniffles have the cold as an excuse.
Do you still love me?
I can't remember if you stay it first anymore.
Does the lack in my memory come from fact,
or just worrying that it is?
Do you still love me,
Because I love you.
I'm pouring so much in that there's little of me left.
Give so much in hopes you'll stay.
Do you still love me?
How close I'm getting to begging.
A new struggle between dignity and desire.
Saving face, or saving "us".
Or would my desperation push you far
Panic (Please Don't Leave) by Tessriane, literature
Literature
Panic (Please Don't Leave)
You: I love you, but I really can't talk to you anymore tonight. You're being frustrating, and I need to go to bed.
Me: No. Please God no. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Please, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and if you leave me I don't know what I'll do. You've given me so much strength and courage, and I know what I have to do to keep you, but it just scares the crap out of me, and of course I'll do it to keep you, but I'm just so scared because nothing's solid right now and I don't know where to put my feet. I can't support myself on you because you're the one I'm trying to prove to that I'm worth keeping. Plea
"The heart never lies.
"Reason over passion."
How do two conflicting mantras encompass my whole life?
They led to a poisoned "heart",
A war between my spirit and mind,
And it's nearly torn me apart.
I can't count the times it's lead me to standing at the edge,
And the wind's tearing me forward,
Hurricaning around me, and I can't stop it,
And no matter how I try to stay
One misstep
Will send me
Falling.
It's taken doubts and whispered them as lies to my heart,
And nudged my mind to analyze,
And then second-guessed.
Cracks my fragile soul bit by bit.
Pushes me toward some terror with a reach like cold.
Dances across my skin and penetrating dee
Sometimes I need just a little push
When my mind is staggering faint
If you see me wearing makeup
Just assume it's warpaint
My shoulders slumped
My legs on fire
My head bowed down
My heart all dire
Mascara streaking down my cheeks
No, I don't have something in my eye
Just the blackened tears spilling down
I won't hide hurt behind a lie
I won't take troubles lying down, though
I don't have a saint's restraint
If you see me wearing makeup
Know I'm wearing warpaint
I'm writing here, which must only mean
That you've gone and suddenly
The words are coming and they won't stop.
For now, it keeps me from crying,
As if it'll hold off for long.
I can't think ahead to tonight,
Alone for the first time in a while.
You leave, and suddenly,
I verse.
Little stanzas come together.
The pain of not having you here
Pulls the words together.
But if I had to choose between inspiration
And never having to miss you anymore,
It would be no sacrifice to never write again.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?"
"I'm sure. I've got to do this on my own."
The smile she gave me was full of hope and support, and she wrapped me close into a warm hug and kissed my neck. "You can do it, babe. Call me when it's over, okay? Let me know how it goes."
I nodded and kissed her quickly before stepping out of the car and staring down my parents' house, my frosty breath rising as Callie drove away. I heard the car slowly pull down the street. She was scared of driving in the snow, but she said that being with me was helping. She wasn't as worried anymore. And she'd go anywhere for me.
You can do this.
My mother lo
She held him with her whole body,
Willing that her touch would say
What her mouth could not.
Pulling him closer,
Wrapped around with arms and legs.
"Don't give me tears, my dear.
None of that," he whispered to her arms,
As her ears were full of sobs and sighs.
Her fingers greedy on his skin,
Trying to feel to his overflowing heart,
As her eyes spilled out her vibrating soul.
Pulling and straining,
Until a constricted throat lets out
A strangled moan,
And it is too much.
Some days,
I just want to curl up
And let the world pass me by.
Leave my needs behind
And hide
And see what tomorrow brings.
Days when my soul feels heavy,
Like it's attached by hooks to my shoulders
My arms
My neck
My back
And weighing down
Pulling down.
Dead weight until I stumble
And just give up and lay there.
A bone-deep tiredness spreads through my muscles,
And I wonder where I have the strength
To even walk.
A tattered piece of paper
Burned in a fire
And curled into itself:
Not fighting,
Not running,
Just burned and blackened.
The feeling never lasts for long.
I'll get up and go about my day,
Bruting my way th
You're gone.
You finally left,
And my eyes bled out on the floor.
You left me, just like I feared you would.
I mourned.
I hit the wall and sank,
Animal agony wrenched from my throat.
Words were useless.
I died.
Or so it felt.
Missing you, I began to think,
And tell myself the upside.
I stopped.
I had never questioned your love for me.
I still don't, but I no longer believe your faith.
Hard to when you discarded me so easily.
I nursed.
The steady drip of grief from my heart to stem,
Armoring myself in sharp humor and quick smiles,
Unless it 2am, and I've had a few to drink.
No tears.
So much less sobbing now that you're not here.
Yo
Do you still love me?
What a question, and it's the only one
that I can keep on my mind.
Given a choice, I'd forget it.
Do you still love me?
I'm glad it's snowing out.
My sniffles have the cold as an excuse.
Do you still love me?
I can't remember if you stay it first anymore.
Does the lack in my memory come from fact,
or just worrying that it is?
Do you still love me,
Because I love you.
I'm pouring so much in that there's little of me left.
Give so much in hopes you'll stay.
Do you still love me?
How close I'm getting to begging.
A new struggle between dignity and desire.
Saving face, or saving "us".
Or would my desperation push you far
Panic (Please Don't Leave) by Tessriane, literature
Literature
Panic (Please Don't Leave)
You: I love you, but I really can't talk to you anymore tonight. You're being frustrating, and I need to go to bed.
Me: No. Please God no. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Please, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and if you leave me I don't know what I'll do. You've given me so much strength and courage, and I know what I have to do to keep you, but it just scares the crap out of me, and of course I'll do it to keep you, but I'm just so scared because nothing's solid right now and I don't know where to put my feet. I can't support myself on you because you're the one I'm trying to prove to that I'm worth keeping. Plea
"The heart never lies.
"Reason over passion."
How do two conflicting mantras encompass my whole life?
They led to a poisoned "heart",
A war between my spirit and mind,
And it's nearly torn me apart.
I can't count the times it's lead me to standing at the edge,
And the wind's tearing me forward,
Hurricaning around me, and I can't stop it,
And no matter how I try to stay
One misstep
Will send me
Falling.
It's taken doubts and whispered them as lies to my heart,
And nudged my mind to analyze,
And then second-guessed.
Cracks my fragile soul bit by bit.
Pushes me toward some terror with a reach like cold.
Dances across my skin and penetrating dee
Sometimes I need just a little push
When my mind is staggering faint
If you see me wearing makeup
Just assume it's warpaint
My shoulders slumped
My legs on fire
My head bowed down
My heart all dire
Mascara streaking down my cheeks
No, I don't have something in my eye
Just the blackened tears spilling down
I won't hide hurt behind a lie
I won't take troubles lying down, though
I don't have a saint's restraint
If you see me wearing makeup
Know I'm wearing warpaint
I'm writing here, which must only mean
That you've gone and suddenly
The words are coming and they won't stop.
For now, it keeps me from crying,
As if it'll hold off for long.
I can't think ahead to tonight,
Alone for the first time in a while.
You leave, and suddenly,
I verse.
Little stanzas come together.
The pain of not having you here
Pulls the words together.
But if I had to choose between inspiration
And never having to miss you anymore,
It would be no sacrifice to never write again.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?"
"I'm sure. I've got to do this on my own."
The smile she gave me was full of hope and support, and she wrapped me close into a warm hug and kissed my neck. "You can do it, babe. Call me when it's over, okay? Let me know how it goes."
I nodded and kissed her quickly before stepping out of the car and staring down my parents' house, my frosty breath rising as Callie drove away. I heard the car slowly pull down the street. She was scared of driving in the snow, but she said that being with me was helping. She wasn't as worried anymore. And she'd go anywhere for me.
You can do this.
My mother lo
She held him with her whole body,
Willing that her touch would say
What her mouth could not.
Pulling him closer,
Wrapped around with arms and legs.
"Don't give me tears, my dear.
None of that," he whispered to her arms,
As her ears were full of sobs and sighs.
Her fingers greedy on his skin,
Trying to feel to his overflowing heart,
As her eyes spilled out her vibrating soul.
Pulling and straining,
Until a constricted throat lets out
A strangled moan,
And it is too much.
Some days,
I just want to curl up
And let the world pass me by.
Leave my needs behind
And hide
And see what tomorrow brings.
Days when my soul feels heavy,
Like it's attached by hooks to my shoulders
My arms
My neck
My back
And weighing down
Pulling down.
Dead weight until I stumble
And just give up and lay there.
A bone-deep tiredness spreads through my muscles,
And I wonder where I have the strength
To even walk.
A tattered piece of paper
Burned in a fire
And curled into itself:
Not fighting,
Not running,
Just burned and blackened.
The feeling never lasts for long.
I'll get up and go about my day,
Bruting my way th
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?"
"I'm sure. I've got to do this on my own."
The smile she gave me was full of hope and support, and she wrapped me close into a warm hug and kissed my neck. "You can do it, babe. Call me when it's over, okay? Let me know how it goes."
I nodded and kissed her quickly before stepping out of the car and staring down my parents' house, my frosty breath rising as Callie drove away. I heard the car slowly pull down the street. She was scared of driving in the snow, but she said that being with me was helping. She wasn't as worried anymore. And she'd go anywhere for me.
You can do this.
My mother lo
Current Residence: Nunya, Bizness deviantWEAR sizing preference: Small Favourite genre of music: Meh? Operating System: I'll not get drawn into this, thank you very much MP3 player of choice: Has iPod Shell of choice: Turtle...? Skin of choice: Mine, it fits best
Favourite Movies
Oh, god, you want to make me choose??
Favourite TV Shows
Firefly, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and have I mentioned Firefly?
So I see my passive-aggressive journal post from earlier worked! Never mind the fact that I've been studying mathematics and statistics pretty much exclusively for the last several years and know that "Correlation does not imply causation" is basically the first rule of analyzing statistics and just....
I'm really tired you guys goodnight.
Omg. You are an awesome writer with a very unique technique. I was strolling through your gallery and I simply fell in love with your writing. I will be eagerly awaiting to read more from you.
You recently requested that I join CritiqueCollectors. I am of course honored to be invited to join such an apparently highly exclusive group. However, after reading the submission guidelines, I have no submissions which would qualify me for inclusion. And I simply would not feel comfortable in joining a group in which I can not adequately partacipate. If you believe that there are any works in my gallery which could be included, then I'd be happy to join.